Sneakin Deacon

The Intro...

So, cruising lastnight to test out some minor tweakings on the 7, i happened to run across this new GTI and 1st thing that pops into my mind is the commercials...ohhhh booyyyyy...the commercials...ya know, the whole low ego emissions and such...well i am going to sue them for false advertising and this kid for burning my retinas and giving me an ulcer.

The Skinny...

Cruising down 4th st rolling up to a light i hear this thumping...not exhaust thumping...this was deeper. It was like "HEY!!! PULL OUT YOUR ROAD FLARES AND LETS RAVE!!" thumping. and while i had to restrain myself from doing just that (because i cant afford another pair of shoe laces at the moment) i did get to also hear the screech of tires leaving the light i was rolling up on which gave me a big enough gap to row the boat through. i wasnt going to bother trying to run this guy down (my bridgeport is teh suck from a high roll, i really need to get an optispark to fix it, and my friend has a shop, he has been talking about hooking me up with some high compression pistons and cams, he says i should be able to spin 15k all day long once i get them, he has a sick ass prelude btw, anywho, back to our regularly scheduled war story..) so i just waited back and watched him catch the next light and pulled into the lane next to him getting down to about 5-10mph as the light went green and i mashed the pedal and kicked it sideways past him as he was squealing at the light again, just drowned out by my 2 Okinawa Reactor Atom 45's ( i love these fuckin things, seriously...80hp...no joke)

I manage to catch the next light (go figure...racing light to light) and he is hard on the brakes next to me (you know...drive soft, park hard). so ofcourse having my flashbacks of commercials i say "OOOHHHH!! V-Dub in dee haus!" and he just snickers and holds it on the limiter (which btw, these things spin more rpm then a turbo, or they just take un fuckin godly ever to get up the revs in neutral) so i pull up a little tad...put it up somewhere where i should have a limiter and cut the ignition...give it a nano and cut it back on, BOOOM!!!! and all i see is a huge black ball of smoke engulfing the car behind me. this kid is now laughing his ass off and screaming "You stupid fuck, you just blew up your car" and as i sit there with the "OMG...DID I JUST BLOW MY LOAD IN THE SLUMPBUSTER CHICK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!!!1111?!?!?111 ?!!" face. i casually tap it down into 1st and hold the Tbrake. light FINALLY goes yellow across from us and i see it go red...wait for it...then matt the pedal and release the Tbrake right as the light goes green (totally forgetting that im not on the slicks) and im just all over the damn place having to pedal it to keep it somewhat straight (like metrosexual straight you could say...kinda heading in the right direction but am kinda dabbling my interests in other areas too, ya know?) he starts to slowly creep past my door and im like fucking aye this is gay...hit 2nd and still spinning so i just slam 3rd and let myself hook up and bog my way past him at about 60. next light comes up and i just look over with my smart ellick comment of "Dah, it is really sucking." and make my turn off to get dinner.

Figs

Clifnotes?

Sneakin Deacon

Adhd?

slo_hatch93