I've got zero comebacks.

You have no idea how many times I've left my laptop at home(I live about 30-40 minutes away from work) and had to come into the office all playing it all cool and telling my boss I have an appointment that I forgot to mention to haul my ass back home to get my laptop. I run back out to my car and rush home to get my laptop. In my defense one time I did get a nice quicky from my wife but the rest of the time she's just you forgot your shit again, huh?

The laptop stays in my backseat as much as possible now. I think my wife is convinced it has gigabytes of porn I'm trying to hide or something. I keep my wallet in the car and I have two copies of my license(went to the website and said I lost it to have two copies since I'm always leaving crap).