I've had similar conversations in the past.. and in my current relationship and have generally taken the same approach.

She is themost important person in my life, but without my career.. i cant provide for her in the ways i am supposed to. My situation is also a little different in that without my carreer (for the moment anyhow) I have to return to australia, so it is very important that I do well at it.

I'm very lucky to be with someone right now who understands all of this and is in total agreement that for the time being my career is very important to us both, its what were going to be living off in the not too distant future when we have kids... unless we are one of those unfortunate "TR people" who are rushing things and will end in divorce.. lol

I think Alan you eed to help her distinguish between important PEOPLE and important THINGS .. and ask yourself whether you would give up your career for her if you REALLY had to.. would you follow her some where else if the situation warranted it ?.. woudl she follow you ?.. it all comes down to economics i guess..