lol!!!!

but in all honesty, I would suspect a valve guide leak. you know, you can take off the valve cover and see a torn valve guide seal pretty easily, you just have to know what to look for. they make this neat little tool that allows you to take off the valve springs and such with the head on the block. you can find it here, Euro Export, Inc. . I own one and it works pretty goddamn well. I am pretty sure you can use it on a non-vtec head, though I have never tried.