i have found an off the shelf product that actually does what it says it will do.

Rislone(sp) its 4.99 at discount and in a yellow bottle.

i put one quart of this stuff with 3.2 quarts of reg discount oil(to flush the system) and after driving the car to work and back, all of the milky, lotion-like oil is totally gone from the head and oil pan!

the system is 100% clear now and ready for some more break in before i give it to John to rape on the dyno.

hope this thread will come in handy if someone else does this in the future.