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Gingers can't play football because they think that getting hit by a football helmet causes stretch marks.
what
what
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F*CK THIEVES!
Keep your mind on your grind and off of mine.
F*CK THIEVES!
Keep your mind on your grind and off of mine.
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Ginger Overlords
Modern gingers are ruled by the seven ginger overlords. These overlords remain secret to only those who are of ginger decent, but they monitor and orchestrate ginger movement everywhere. When a ginger breaks with the overlords, they are cast out and are given cancer and herpes. The only way a ginger can regain entry into the ginger society is by fellating 2 goats, sacrificing a Canadian, and stockpiling 3 years worth of Crest whitening strips.
Modern gingers are ruled by the seven ginger overlords. These overlords remain secret to only those who are of ginger decent, but they monitor and orchestrate ginger movement everywhere. When a ginger breaks with the overlords, they are cast out and are given cancer and herpes. The only way a ginger can regain entry into the ginger society is by fellating 2 goats, sacrificing a Canadian, and stockpiling 3 years worth of Crest whitening strips.
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Types and Classification
Half-breeds / Dhampirs
Those with auburn hair, or with one normal parent and one ginger parent. This is rare, as most normal humans are repulsed by the ginger's appearance (though hypnotized by the firecrotch; an excess of red hair in the pubic areas).
Self-loathing Gingers
As the title implies, reds who dye their hair to hide who they truly are. Said to be the redhead counterparts to self-hating black man Michael Jackson, they often emulate him by attempting to give their skin a new ("tan") color with creams.
North American Ginger
The North American Ginger is usually found in the United States of America. Along with Gingervitus, problems of obesity, diabetes, stupidity, and impotence are prone to the Ginger species that reside in America. They are a foul lot with little to expect and little to hope for. Darwin once stated "$crew Gingers". He is the father of evolution, and would he be wrong?
Day Walkers
As their name implies, Day Walkers are Gingers that have mutated skin that is able to handle direct sunlight. Apart from their non aversion to sunlight, Day Walkers are still very dangerous and are the number one killers of FUN.
Red Headed Step children
The larval form of Gingers, Strawberries, Carrots, and many other adult forms of fruits and root vegetables. These deceptively child-like beings are the spawn of long extinct space vikings what settled upon the Earth billions of years ago, according to ancient papyrus attributed to Carl "ridiculously annoying accent" Sagan in 1754. They have a distinctive scream that has been known to cure cancer if the child is properly jabbed with a lit cigarette, or flogged with a leather belt. But be advised! If you look one in the eye, innocent as it may seem at the time; you may go about your day in a normal, Christian fashion, but the beast, having recognized you, will slip unnoticed into your house at night and stand at the foot of your bed at stare at you while you lay sleeping.
Raisins
A red asian, or raisin headed asian, is a person of asian ethnicity that decides they do not want the same hair color as 98% of the earth and dunks their head in peroxide only to find out they have unwittingly offered up their soul to the seven ginger overlords. Such disastrous results are wildly popular amongst the japanese (God knows why), however, in doing so they naturally develop +2 sexual charisma and +1 heavy melee damage absorption.
Half-breeds / Dhampirs
Those with auburn hair, or with one normal parent and one ginger parent. This is rare, as most normal humans are repulsed by the ginger's appearance (though hypnotized by the firecrotch; an excess of red hair in the pubic areas).
Self-loathing Gingers
As the title implies, reds who dye their hair to hide who they truly are. Said to be the redhead counterparts to self-hating black man Michael Jackson, they often emulate him by attempting to give their skin a new ("tan") color with creams.
North American Ginger
The North American Ginger is usually found in the United States of America. Along with Gingervitus, problems of obesity, diabetes, stupidity, and impotence are prone to the Ginger species that reside in America. They are a foul lot with little to expect and little to hope for. Darwin once stated "$crew Gingers". He is the father of evolution, and would he be wrong?
Day Walkers
As their name implies, Day Walkers are Gingers that have mutated skin that is able to handle direct sunlight. Apart from their non aversion to sunlight, Day Walkers are still very dangerous and are the number one killers of FUN.
Red Headed Step children
The larval form of Gingers, Strawberries, Carrots, and many other adult forms of fruits and root vegetables. These deceptively child-like beings are the spawn of long extinct space vikings what settled upon the Earth billions of years ago, according to ancient papyrus attributed to Carl "ridiculously annoying accent" Sagan in 1754. They have a distinctive scream that has been known to cure cancer if the child is properly jabbed with a lit cigarette, or flogged with a leather belt. But be advised! If you look one in the eye, innocent as it may seem at the time; you may go about your day in a normal, Christian fashion, but the beast, having recognized you, will slip unnoticed into your house at night and stand at the foot of your bed at stare at you while you lay sleeping.
Raisins
A red asian, or raisin headed asian, is a person of asian ethnicity that decides they do not want the same hair color as 98% of the earth and dunks their head in peroxide only to find out they have unwittingly offered up their soul to the seven ginger overlords. Such disastrous results are wildly popular amongst the japanese (God knows why), however, in doing so they naturally develop +2 sexual charisma and +1 heavy melee damage absorption.
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Do ginger kids have no souls? Can they curse you?
Today i was just spending time with a friend when we saw a child with ginger hair and freckles, a ginger kid. He started doing some magic tricks with coins. It was very entertaining but slightly frightening. Then he began laughing, not normaly. All high pitched and his face screwed up and he look evil.
My friend and i were very scared so we left, and started running away from this spawn of satan.
He chased us. We went into a room to try and hide from him, but he was there waiting for us.
Please help, am i cursed by this demon?
ANSWER:
You need to rub a raw onion all over your body every morning for the next week. That's the only way to save your soul.
Today i was just spending time with a friend when we saw a child with ginger hair and freckles, a ginger kid. He started doing some magic tricks with coins. It was very entertaining but slightly frightening. Then he began laughing, not normaly. All high pitched and his face screwed up and he look evil.
My friend and i were very scared so we left, and started running away from this spawn of satan.
He chased us. We went into a room to try and hide from him, but he was there waiting for us.
Please help, am i cursed by this demon?
ANSWER:
You need to rub a raw onion all over your body every morning for the next week. That's the only way to save your soul.
You poor person. There is help available, you aren't alone.
Red headed people are a terrible thing. A great burden on society. Some specialise in doing magic tricks, and some just want to eat your heart. Don't be afraid, the best thing you can do is remain calm and collected; they live off your fear. I had a very nasty experience with a ginger kid when I was walking home one night. My only option was to hit him over the head with the baseball bat I was carrying and ditch his soul-less body in the local river.
I think it was foolish of you to leave the house without some means of protection. I advise you to stock up on weapons and don't be so trusting again.
Alex.
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FINALLY! The key to a penis!
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Habitat
Gingers grow in underground cities, sewers, and Atlantis, but some have managed to work their way into normal society, gradually building up a slight resistance to sunlight and weaning themselves from an all-blood diet. A few redheads live amongst us. The ones that appear during the day are usually in a hurry (clearly to escape into their cave or other dark place to hole up in).
Finding Gingers
So what about the habitat of these Gingers? Well, it is common knowledge that these Redheads are mainly nocturnal creatures (for the blondes that are reading this- nocturnal means only come out at night like owls) and can be found living in underground habitats. Another good place to search is the hairdressers; because of the amazing amount of hair dye their people need to survive. They can also be hiding amongst the emo population, which is almost as unpopular as the Gingers. They appear often with dyed black hair, as black is the only dye that actually covers ginger. Also it is commonly known that Gingism can lead to suicidal tendencies; which is why they fit well amongst the emos of the world.
What to do if you find a Ginger
The most important thing to remember: DO NOT TOUCH IT. If it touches you at any point it WILL consume your soul. If for any reason you cannot escape touching a Ginger, Listerine is the only known preventative for contracting Gingervitis so remember to carry a small bottle at all times. Also, remember to watch out for the long, sharp claws of the Ginger. With such tools they can latch on to you. If so, call the relevant authorities and have it removed. If after the meeting you start to feel hatred of small animals and there is a reddish tinge in your hair, you have breathed in "Ginger Spores", and you will in fact become a Ginger in the next 35 hours. The Ginger Spores travel into your heart, where Gingervitis is realised as the disease begins to slowly sucks your soul out, leaving a giant Ginger hole. If this happens, please attempt suicide at the next convenient moment. Understand that a ginger will never admit to its disease, they will say they have strawberry-blonde hair.
Gingers grow in underground cities, sewers, and Atlantis, but some have managed to work their way into normal society, gradually building up a slight resistance to sunlight and weaning themselves from an all-blood diet. A few redheads live amongst us. The ones that appear during the day are usually in a hurry (clearly to escape into their cave or other dark place to hole up in).
Finding Gingers
So what about the habitat of these Gingers? Well, it is common knowledge that these Redheads are mainly nocturnal creatures (for the blondes that are reading this- nocturnal means only come out at night like owls) and can be found living in underground habitats. Another good place to search is the hairdressers; because of the amazing amount of hair dye their people need to survive. They can also be hiding amongst the emo population, which is almost as unpopular as the Gingers. They appear often with dyed black hair, as black is the only dye that actually covers ginger. Also it is commonly known that Gingism can lead to suicidal tendencies; which is why they fit well amongst the emos of the world.
What to do if you find a Ginger
The most important thing to remember: DO NOT TOUCH IT. If it touches you at any point it WILL consume your soul. If for any reason you cannot escape touching a Ginger, Listerine is the only known preventative for contracting Gingervitis so remember to carry a small bottle at all times. Also, remember to watch out for the long, sharp claws of the Ginger. With such tools they can latch on to you. If so, call the relevant authorities and have it removed. If after the meeting you start to feel hatred of small animals and there is a reddish tinge in your hair, you have breathed in "Ginger Spores", and you will in fact become a Ginger in the next 35 hours. The Ginger Spores travel into your heart, where Gingervitis is realised as the disease begins to slowly sucks your soul out, leaving a giant Ginger hole. If this happens, please attempt suicide at the next convenient moment. Understand that a ginger will never admit to its disease, they will say they have strawberry-blonde hair.
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