Dear Santy,
I herd you was tha bestest persun ta ask for stuff. My brother once askt for a red rider wagon and you gived it to him right under tha tree that we had growin in our yard.......So...I'm askin ya fer some things this year.

Here's my list:

1) I need a woman....they are much more productive than the goats I go out with. I mean, goats can't make dinner or nothin. They are only good fer 1 thing.

2) I need a good car......My nabor has a really cool lookin dodge dart sittin on blocks in his yard. I bet with the rite set o wheels...I cud make it go FAAAAST! (Then maybe I cud get that woman I spoke about)

3) I need duct tape.....I'm all out. I had ta fix the window after my room mate kicked it. Her hoofs are really hard. Just ask my bawls!

4) A tv wud be nice too. I gots some old coat hangers for tha rabit ears already. I kno it's kinda big ta fit down tha chimmny so since tha windows broke already just toss it in there.

5) I was gonna ask fer a blower but I figger that a womans just as good. I'll hok up an inlet on my nebors dodge dart when you give it to me so tha woman you give me can blow in it when she wants ta talk.

I think thats all this year Santy. If you want, you can borrow my girlfriend in trade. Here's a pic of her. She's real purty:

 

Therapy... All I gotta' say