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Some random offensiveness

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Old 05-06-2008, 04:27 PM
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Default Some random offensiveness

What do you call a Puerto Rican midget? A spec.

Did you hear what the dyslexic Highway Patrolman did on New Year's? He spent the whole night handing out I.U.D.s

What do black people get when they pick their nose? Noogers.

One night at the dinner table, Jill commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me any more!" "Nonsense, darling," replied John. "You just cook better now."

Although born to a Catholic family, Chester had always wanted to be Jewish. As a senior in college, he decided to take the plunge and go through the formal conversion process. He studied Judaism all semester. Finally, he felt he was ready to take the test and complete the conversion. On the appointed day, he arrived at the Rabbi's office, ready to begin. The Rabbi said, "I'm sorry, but before I give you the test, I must discuss my fee, It's $5,000." "$5,000!" exclaimed Chester, "That's a lot of money. How about $500?" "Congratulations, you pass." said the Rabbi.

Girl: Do you believe in puppy love? Boy: I tried it once, but their assholes are too small.

Two Iranians meet in Miami. One starts to greet the other in Farsi, the language of their native country.The other Iranian waved him away contemptuously and said, "We're in America now. Speak Spanish!"

What's the difference between a black guy and a letter? You can send a letter back where it came from.

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."

If God didn't intend for us to have oral sex, why are penises shaped like hotdogs and vaginas like tacos?

Mr. and Mrs. Cload came before the judge for their divorce hearing. The judge asked, "What are the grounds?" Mrs. Cload replied, "Cruel and inhuman punishment, your Honor. He tied me to the bed and then forced me to sing "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" while he pissed all over me." The judge shuddered and said, "Good God, that's disgusting!" "Damn right, your Honor," Mrs. Cload yelled. "He knows how much I hate that fucking song!"

Went to the sex shop the other day and bought a Palestinian sex doll. When I got it home, it blew itself up.

Why does a dog lick his ass? Because he knows he will be licking your face in about 5 minutes.
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Old 05-06-2008, 05:30 PM
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noogers, I get those after grinding steel.
Old 05-06-2008, 05:41 PM
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I love it! "We're in America now; Speak Spanish!"
Old 05-07-2008, 10:13 AM
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Old 05-07-2008, 10:19 AM
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good shit.
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Old 05-07-2008, 04:14 PM
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