When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you
Just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out
On someone you know. Take it out on someone you don't
Know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone
Call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and
Dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak
With Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the
Right ****ing number!" and the phone was slammed down
On me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so
Rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to
Call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed
The last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the
'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the
Phone, I yelled "You're an ***hole!" and hung up. I
Wrote his number down with the word ' ***hole' next to
It, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of
Weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
Day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an ***hole!"

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my
Therapeutic ' ***hole' calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the Telstra. I'm calling to see if you're
Familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because
You're an ***hole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into
A parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and
Pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit
The horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that
Spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale"
Sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first
***hole ( I had his number on speed dial,) I thought
That I'd better call the BMW ***hole, too. I said,
"Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can
See it?" I asked.

"Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a
Yellow house, and the car's parked right out in
Front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an ***hole!" Then I hung up, and added
His number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two a **holes to
Call. Then I came up with an idea. I called ***hole
#1.

"Hello."

"You're an ***hole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

" ***hole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a
Yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had
Better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ***hole," and
Hung up.

Then I called ***hole #2. "Hello?" he said.

"Hello, ***hole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ***," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, ***hole, here's your chance. I'm
Coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
Saying that I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and
That I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going
Down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray.
I got there just in time to watch two ***holes
beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop
cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really works.

 

LOL, ive read this somewheres, but still goood!! Thanks for the laugh.... Repped

 

when I was 16 I worked as a telemarketer and I used to do just that. Call the assholes back all the time....

 

That was pretty damn funny. Reppage to you on that one.