Walmart gave me the boot
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Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for
Brandy the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check
out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I
told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting
the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't,
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd
lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and
that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you
feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I
was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my
story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care
because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off
a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us
both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack, he was laughing so hard!
WALMART WON'T let me shop there anymore!!!
Brandy the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check
out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I
told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting
the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't,
because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd
lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and
that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you
feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I
was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my
story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care
because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off
a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us
both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack, he was laughing so hard!
WALMART WON'T let me shop there anymore!!!
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