SERVINGS FOR 4
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THE FETUS AFTER 7 1/2 MONTHS: SERVINGS FOR 4
The bones are soft and can be sliced easily with a standard carving knife but to make labour light a serrated electric knife can be used. Start by pushing the blade into the top of the breastbone (use gentle pressure you only want to open up the chest cavity not liquefy the vitals). Slice downwards through the chest and abdomen to the genitals. Now you can open the ribcage by inserting your fingers and reefing the slit apart to reveal the internal organs. Stop when the backbone splits with a resounding crack. Remove the innards by seizing a handful and yanking firmly. Dont worry about spilling excrement on the meat; there is no excrement in the bowels since the fetus hasnt eaten anything. Dump the guts into a bowl (these can be used as vittals later) and shake the goo off your hand into the sink.
For serving four people the fetus can be quartered. Sit the fetus upright and put the knife into the crack in the backbone against the spinal cord near the top of the shoulder blades. Press through the bone until the point breaks through the skin and extends out of the fetus back. Cut down through the bone to the pelvis appreciating how similar the popping vertebrae sound to small-arms fire. Be very careful of small bone fragments ricocheting around the kitchen especially if using an electric knife - cover your eyes! Youll need extra pressure to cut through the pelvis; keep it up until the knife hits the chopping board.
To make the cross-cut begin at about where the placenta joins the abdomen. Cut horizontally with a sawing motion through the ribcage to the backbone. Dont completely sever the fetus into two though; this makes it difficult to arrange the parts for serving. If serving more than four people the legs can be separated as drumsticks. Use the back of a meat cleaver or a heavy steel knife sharpener to smash the ball and socket joint in the hip then place the blade against the groin and slice through the break in the femoral bone to sever the leg. The spherical bearing from the top of the femur can be removed and makes an amusing toy for the cat or kiddies. The arms can also be separated if desired.
Pour a good 2-3 cups of brandy over the fetus and bake at 200C until dark brown wrinkled and leathery with the appearance of smoked herring. Place the fetus face-down on a silver tureen covered with dried fruits. Bend the waist and knees into a kneeling position so that the buttocks are raised. Boil the placenta until soft and mushy and place around the fetus; drape the umbilical cord over the neck. The leftover juices can be served as broth for the entree. Arrange sprigs of parsley in the gash down the spine in the cross-cut head cavity eye sockets and bung hole. For the finishing touch pull the head back (you may need to slit the throat wide to get the head to lie flat) and poke a cherry tomato into the mouth.
For the entree serve the guests the placental broth and toasty bread rolls. Prepare dishes of butter and brain stick a knife in each and put them on the table so the guests can butter and brain their rolls. As the main course the tureen should be handed round the guests so that the pre-cut sections can be torn by hand from the carcass. Eat the flesh with bean sprouts asparagus baked potatoes tartar sauce and a good white wine. The head can be left on the tureen in the center of the table as a decorative feature. It is traditional for this dish that the hostess be served the fetal eyeballs.
The bones are soft and can be sliced easily with a standard carving knife but to make labour light a serrated electric knife can be used. Start by pushing the blade into the top of the breastbone (use gentle pressure you only want to open up the chest cavity not liquefy the vitals). Slice downwards through the chest and abdomen to the genitals. Now you can open the ribcage by inserting your fingers and reefing the slit apart to reveal the internal organs. Stop when the backbone splits with a resounding crack. Remove the innards by seizing a handful and yanking firmly. Dont worry about spilling excrement on the meat; there is no excrement in the bowels since the fetus hasnt eaten anything. Dump the guts into a bowl (these can be used as vittals later) and shake the goo off your hand into the sink.
For serving four people the fetus can be quartered. Sit the fetus upright and put the knife into the crack in the backbone against the spinal cord near the top of the shoulder blades. Press through the bone until the point breaks through the skin and extends out of the fetus back. Cut down through the bone to the pelvis appreciating how similar the popping vertebrae sound to small-arms fire. Be very careful of small bone fragments ricocheting around the kitchen especially if using an electric knife - cover your eyes! Youll need extra pressure to cut through the pelvis; keep it up until the knife hits the chopping board.
To make the cross-cut begin at about where the placenta joins the abdomen. Cut horizontally with a sawing motion through the ribcage to the backbone. Dont completely sever the fetus into two though; this makes it difficult to arrange the parts for serving. If serving more than four people the legs can be separated as drumsticks. Use the back of a meat cleaver or a heavy steel knife sharpener to smash the ball and socket joint in the hip then place the blade against the groin and slice through the break in the femoral bone to sever the leg. The spherical bearing from the top of the femur can be removed and makes an amusing toy for the cat or kiddies. The arms can also be separated if desired.
Pour a good 2-3 cups of brandy over the fetus and bake at 200C until dark brown wrinkled and leathery with the appearance of smoked herring. Place the fetus face-down on a silver tureen covered with dried fruits. Bend the waist and knees into a kneeling position so that the buttocks are raised. Boil the placenta until soft and mushy and place around the fetus; drape the umbilical cord over the neck. The leftover juices can be served as broth for the entree. Arrange sprigs of parsley in the gash down the spine in the cross-cut head cavity eye sockets and bung hole. For the finishing touch pull the head back (you may need to slit the throat wide to get the head to lie flat) and poke a cherry tomato into the mouth.
For the entree serve the guests the placental broth and toasty bread rolls. Prepare dishes of butter and brain stick a knife in each and put them on the table so the guests can butter and brain their rolls. As the main course the tureen should be handed round the guests so that the pre-cut sections can be torn by hand from the carcass. Eat the flesh with bean sprouts asparagus baked potatoes tartar sauce and a good white wine. The head can be left on the tureen in the center of the table as a decorative feature. It is traditional for this dish that the hostess be served the fetal eyeballs.
good thing Christine is older than that :barf: At first I really thought he was talking about Veal
