I know exactly what you mean. I'm usually "suffering" from mental anxiety about 23 hours of the day. Stressing out about a million different things...thats why I sometimes have to post something in here to get it out on the table and out of my head so I can get my work done. Sounds weird, but sometimes if I write what I am thinking down on paper I can usually clear my head and start thinking logically about the situation at hand.

Like everyone else said, perhaps you should visit a doctor. Unless you are certified insane (which I don't think you are), no one is a better judge of self mental health than yourself. If you think something is slightly wrong or out of place, you are probably right. Even if you just see someone to help you find a healthy way to extinguish that anxiety (i.e. alternative medicine/therapy) would be better than letting something possibly escalate into future health problems (i.e. high blood pressure, heart disease, etc.).

You may also want to unwind at a spa or something too.

 

my gf gave me a gift certificate for this massage therapy place, i think i'll tell them i want to go soon....but im sure it'll only be temporary

im also buggin out about school, where to go, where to live, what to do for $$$, how to pay for my car and insurance if i do move and change jobs.....everyone is down my back giving me thier opinions, do this, do that, when are you doing this? when are you doing that? ....NOW NOW NOW....agggggghhh!!!!!!

i need a nap

 

I can't have any anxiety... when you're 3200ft back in a cave and the silt is so thick you cant see more then 2 inches and you are stuck in a tight spot, anxiety would have already killed me...

luckily, I knew I had plenty of air still and just took a breath or two and solved the problem... I have noticed that since that incident, things dont bother me so much.

I used to stress at work, that's gone. I used to stress on the road and get pissed easy, now thats gone too...

Maybe you just need a "meet Jesus" expierence like I had... it cured me if I had any...

 

sorry I'm late, yes I do ...it's one of the reasons I'm on Welbutrin.

 

In fact, I've been having one of those "attacks" since about Friday. It's gotten especially bad today as I haven't been able to keep ANY food down. So I had a liquid dinner and it helped...slightly. Which sucks, I was completely fucking lit and I still felt it. I hate this shit.

Since I've been on the welbutrin again, pretty much all my anxiety is female related. I can pretty much keep everything else in check. Its that unknown that I have absolutely no control over that absolutely tears me apart inside. Right now all I taste is stomach acid and I have a piercing pain in my stomach that won't go away no matter what I do. Oh well, it has become such a part of my life I accept it and somehow seem to thrive off it in a sick, dimented, self-loathing way. I hate it and love it equally.

 

and what reeally sucks is it affects EVERYTHING. Not just trying to eat, I chew my nails like a motherfucker, I have no interest in porn, video games, fun, etc. All I do is sink into worlds of epic battles. Its psuedo-embarassing. But I can't hide it, its what happens to me. I find sanctity in armageddon. The final battle between good and evil. I have known sine I was knee high to a grasshopper I have to serve at least one TOE in the US military, and I start thinking. I wonder if maybe re-incarnation is real. I have always had an obsession with everything WWII. I have a couple if USGI small arms and a couple of Nazi sidearms. I collect propaganda posters and ads and other militaria. So I wonder if those re-incarnation beliefs are real. Perhaps in my former life I died in a WWII battlefield and my spirit still has yet to accept it. I know I prolly sound ridiculously stupid, but I still have to wonder. Is it foreshadowing? Is there really a thing as fate and destiny or do we make our own paths? Will I join the military and die in some foreign land? Will I join the military and never see so much as a skirmish? Since my freshman year in high school I have been trying to figure this out. I have hidden it away since about 2-3 months ago when I finally seeked help. Now I see a physician and a psychiatrist regularly. The medication has helped tremendously but there is still some problems.

I'd like to think they can be solved easily. All I need to do is find the other half of myself and fill the void in my life. Is that the key? Or can it not be until I'm happy in my own shoes? I constantly force myself to be alone and I thrive on it, but I hate it. I hate it sooo much, but again, it has become a part of me. Like I said, I've made great strides lately, but there is still a ways to go. One thing I have found out is talkking helps tremendously. Posting this has opened up a part that not many people know and istead of feeling embarrassed or ashamed I feel better. Everyone in here is cool and I trust to be non-judgemental. Tom, I feel you ... I know exactly how you feel. You are not alone.