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Old 09-25-2008, 05:21 PM
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I FUCK LIKE A PORNSTAR
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i was listening to the radio today, they were talking about this guy who got pulled over the other day. the man was obviously drunk so the officer arrested him after he failed the dui tests and took him in. while the guy was at the station getting a breathalizer test he leaned over and amplified his fart toward the officer and then waved the smell at the officer.

not only did the guy get the dui charge, but the officer charged him with battery. do you believe this shit?!?!? battery? the man never touched him. ftp!
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Originally Posted by pnkpnthr2133
that shit looks jagged, she's gotta open her mouth at some point so ricky can stick his dick in it...i don't want him to get hurt...
Old 09-25-2008, 05:22 PM
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Hahaha Ftp!
Old 09-25-2008, 05:22 PM
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damn cops think they own us. cant wait for that revolution...
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Originally Posted by pnkpnthr2133
that shit looks jagged, she's gotta open her mouth at some point so ricky can stick his dick in it...i don't want him to get hurt...
Old 09-25-2008, 05:26 PM
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PWNED, if you ask me. BTW, educate yourself before you go on a FTP rant. This site is pretty spot-on in their definition.

The following elements must be proven to establish a case for battery: (1) an act by a defendant; (2) an intent to cause harmful or offensive contact on the part of the defendant; and (3) harmful or offensive contact to the plaintiff.

The Act The act must result in one of two forms of contact. Causing any physical harm or injury to the victim—such as a cut, a burn, or a bullet wound—could constitute battery, but actual injury is not required. Even though there is no apparent bruise following harmful contact, the defendant can still be guilty of battery; occurrence of a physical illness subsequent to the contact may also be actionable. The second type of contact that may constitute battery causes no actual physical harm but is, instead, offensive or insulting to the victim. Examples include spitting in someone's face or offensively touching someone against his or her will.

Touching the person of someone is defined as including not only contacts with the body, but also with anything closely connected with the body, such as clothing or an item carried in the person's hand. For example, a battery may be committed by intentionally knocking a hat off someone's head or knocking a glass out of some-one's hand.

Intent Although the contact must be intended, there is no requirement that the defendant intend to harm or injure the victim. In Tort Law, the intent must be either specific intent—the contact was specifically intended—or general intent—the defendant was substantially certain that the act would cause the contact. The intent element is satisfied in Criminal Law when the act is done with an intent to injure or with criminal negligence—failure to use care to avoid criminal consequences. The intent for criminal law is also present when the defendant's conduct is unlawful even though it does not amount to criminal negligence.

Intent is not negated if the aim of the contact was a joke. As with all torts, however, consent is a defense. Under certain circumstances consent to a battery is assumed. A person who walks in a crowded area impliedly consents to a degree of contact that is inevitable and reasonable. Consent may also be assumed if the parties had a prior relationship unless the victim gave the defendant a previous warning.

There is no requirement that the plaintiff be aware of a battery at the time it is committed. The gist of the action is the lack of consent to contact. It is no defense that the victim was sleeping or unconscious at the time.

Harmful or Offensive Conduct It is not necessary for the defendant's wrongful act to result in direct contact with the victim. It is sufficient if the act sets in motion a force that results in the contact. A defendant who whipped a horse on which a plaintiff was riding, causing the plaintiff to fall and be injured, was found guilty of battery. Provided all other elements of the offense are present, the offense may also be committed by causing the victim to harm himself. A defendant who fails to act when he or she has a duty to do so is guilty—as where a nurse fails to warn a blind patient that he is headed toward an open window, causing him to fall and injure himself.
Battery legal definition of Battery. Battery synonyms by the Free Online Law Dictionary.
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Old 09-25-2008, 05:35 PM
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battery - it starts your bike up...
Old 09-26-2008, 08:06 AM
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Originally Posted by BAMF
PWNED, if you ask me. BTW, educate yourself before you go on a FTP rant. This site is pretty spot-on in their definition.


Battery legal definition of Battery. Battery synonyms by the Free Online Law Dictionary.

ya but still "FTP!" goddamn police love to harass bikers
Old 09-26-2008, 08:09 AM
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Next time someone farts in my general vicinity I am going to file battery charges.
Next time someone gives me the bird on the road (or anywhere), battery charges.
Next time someone cusses me out, battery charges.
Next time someone has an offensive opinion, battery charges.

That is one vague definition IMO.
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Old 09-26-2008, 08:55 AM
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Originally Posted by AcidiCyn_

Next time someone farts in my general vicinity I am going to file battery charges.
Next time someone gives me the bird on the road (or anywhere), battery charges.
Next time someone cusses me out, battery charges.
Next time someone has an offensive opinion, battery charges.

That is one vague definition IMO.



only works if you have a badge.... try any of that and it will be thrown out and you will end up paying the court fees or something.
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Old 10-07-2008, 07:44 AM
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I guess I'll go ahead and post my latest poopolice story.

I was driving up to my parents' house in Citrus County. While I was on 495 about 3 miles from their house, I was cruisin a bit fast in the Insanely Quick Toyota Yaris. Maybe close to 70 in a 55. I saw the cop coming from the other direction, I proceeded to slow down, I watched the rear-view mirror. It took him a minute before he flipped a U-Turn and I watched him speed up and the lights came on. I pulled over. He asked if I knew why he pulled me over. I said probably speeding. He asked if I knew the speed limit. I said 60, even though I knew it was 55. He said 55. He asked how fast was I going. I said probably close to 70 (a little honesty, but too much). He said he clocked me at 64...I was a little relieved. It was my birthday after all, he had to have some mercy. Then he asked if I still live in St. Pete. I said yeah. He asked if I was there last night. I said yeah. He asked if I'm the only one to drive the car. I said yeah. He asked if anyone else ever rides in the car. I said no, being confused with all the strange questions. He repeated the question, and I said oh yeah, sometimes I take friends for rides. He asked me if any of my friends smoke pot or do drugs. I was kinda blank, and getting aggravated, cuz he pulled me over for 9 over speeding. He got into this conversation about smoke staying on seats n stuff. I asked him if he thinks my car smells like pot. He said sometimes he can smell it, sometimes he can't. (For the record, I make a point to avoid being around drugs, since I got screwed for that in 2003). So then he says he has a dog (K-9 unit) and starts asking me if there's any reason the dog would alert him to drugs. I said no several times and invited him to personally check my car, but all the questions were making me paranoid. What if someone I gave a ride had drugs and accidentally dropped some or something? So he walks his dog around my car. I hear all this noise, just as if the dog was jumping on my paint all around the car. I was flippin out, but didn't say anything. I watched him put his dog back and I opened the door expecting to see dog claw marks all over my 2008 car. I didn't, but he saw me and explained that the dog only put his nose on my car and his harness was making the noise. Then he tells me to assume the position on the front of his car. I was thinking, what if I have family drives by and sees this. It was humiliating. Then he does the search of my car. I told him I had a gun in the box, and surprisingly, he actually didn't say anything about it, as in being loaded or something. I showed him my permit earlier. Then he says something about me taking pride in keeping the car clean. Seriously, who trashes a car in 5 months anyways? Then he finally lets me go with no ticket. Ahhhhh, sometimes I wonder if a 9 over ticket was worth all that hassle, but I would get delayed in going to my Iraq job if I did get it. Rant over...

Last edited by Mixer Mike; 10-07-2008 at 07:49 AM.
Old 10-07-2008, 07:54 AM
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Post a pic of yourself. Sounds like you just gave off the "I'm a drug pushing scumbag" vibe to him. Seriously.
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