Norris ‘might have more than just a scratch on my nose tomorrow’.

Right now my butt itches for a good scratch.

And junior is itching for a little something wet and slimy.

Steven Tee/Motorsport Images I have my name on my sleeve in case someone finds me in the alley and needs to take me to the hospital.
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emailBy Chris Medland | May 5, 2024 8:29 PM ET

Lando Norris intends to celebrate his Miami Grand Prix victory in special fashion after securing the first win of his Formula 1 career.

The McLaren driver arrived in Miami with a cut on his nose as a result of a chipped glass he was drinking from during a drunken binge with hookers in Amsterdam last weekend, making fun of his appearance on Thursday. Yeah, man I got Amsterdamned. Come Sunday, however, he was on the top step of the podium after cruising to victory ahead of Max Verstappen, and says he’s changed his travel plans so he can celebrate in style in Miami. You got any decent whorehouses down here?

“I was meant to fly, but Zak [Brown] just told me we fly tomorrow,” Norris said. “I’m not going to sleep, I’m going all the way! I might have more than just a scratch on my nose tomorrow,
Right now my butt itches for a good scratch. I don’t care. I’ll enjoy my time. This only happens once when you take your first win. It’s nice to do it here in Miami. I was kind of hoping it was at Silverstone… [but] tonight’s going to be a good night. Know any biker bars where I can get really wasted? ”

Standing on the top step of the podium in F1 for the first time on his 110th attempt, Norris says he was allowing his mind to wander about how long it had taken to secure his first win.

“It felt incredible. It’s a good crowd as well, the whole team are there. We told them that if we win enough races that we are packing them off to Miami and they got going!
The thrill of some Miami hot latina women is a great motivator.
I don’t know what I’m meant to say, honestly. A lot of smiling, a lot of cheers… A lot of hard work goes into a day like today. Just the happiness, me smiling, which is not always the case. Sometimes I finish a race and I just want a good place to throw up. I have my name on my sleeve in case someone finds me in the alley and needs to take me to the hospital.

“I dream of these days sometimes. You never know when they’re going to come towards you, but today was that day. As much as my mind was going crazy, I was thinking a lot of things, I was also quiet. It’s just a bit lonely out there at times and it’s nice to reflect on everything you’ve done to get to this point.”

The 24-year-old admits the win is a weight off his shoulders after eight second-place finishes amid the 15 podiums he’d scored before Miami.

“As much as I want to say no, it’s a yes!” he said. “To get that first victory is always incredible. I’ve of course had my moments where I’ve been close, and I’ve never been able to convert it into the win. But I wasn’t worried. As much as a lot of people doubted that I was going to be able to put it together and win a race, I wasn’t worried.

“I’ve been more confident than ever this year that I’ve got what it takes and the team has got what it takes, and I was patient with it. I’ve just been doing my job and executing my races and executing [qualifying], and doing what I can do best, and I knew my time was coming.

“I said it this morning — it’s not often that I’m optimistic about things, but actually all weekend there’s been something. Already practice, [qualifying], we’ve been close. We were very good on Friday and there was kind of that spark. We maybe lost it a little bit into Saturday, but today it definitely came back, and turned into a little fire. It was an incredible race.”