it is a blown head gasket.
period
that's really the only way that can happen. with the exception of things like getting the lines on the turbo backwards which is difficult considering how different they (should) be.
you don't have to drop compression to have a blown gasket. just because the oil and water is mixing doesn't mean the compression ring is blown.

As for your fuel mixing with the coolant/oil, the only way that happens is A) terrible piston rings, and running rich for a considerably long time (like several months) and/or B) blown head gasket where the coolant is leaking into the cylinder, causing a terrible combustion, running rich, and compressing the unburnt fuel out and into the coolant/oil.


Don't believe me, do like someone else suggested and flush it out and replace the oil, run it for a bit, 10 bucks says it gets milky within the day.

Just FYI, water will rust bearings. even water mixed with oil. not to mention how much it doesn't actually lubricate anything.
and that oil that it is in your coolant passageways will clog things up, and cause all kinds of cooling problems as it will coat the sides of the passageways preventing the heat to transfer from the metal to the coolant properly.
So my advice it to tear the whole thing down and get it actually cleaned out. Everything from the head, to the hoses, to the radiator.

good luck.