The night when me and a buddy got stopped, we weren't doing anything wrong.
I thought that we were going to get off.

We did have with us a couple hot-looking, long legged teenage women that we had just found in the mall, but we had already thrown the beer bottles out the window by then, so I thought things were cool.
I thought that we were going to get off.

It was a woman cop, so I unbuttoned my shirt to show her my one chest hair......
I thought that we were going to get off.

She laughed and said "you ain't man enough to please me!
Show me that license!"
I thought oh crap! We are not going to get off.

Then the girl in the back seat said "Mom, how about giving us a break, pleeese, pleeese, pleeese."
I thought that we were going to get off.

My drunk buddy in the back seat had other ideas about getting off.

He called the woman cop a dike, then he stretched out a not-yet-used
condom like a rubber band and shot the woman cop in the face with it.

From that point, on, things did not get any better.......
My drunk buddy did not get off..... -Bob