PINK EYE

like brandon said
Conjunctivitis: Causes and Symptoms

Overgrown Eye Bacteria Causes Oozing, Redness - The Woman's Doctor News Story - WBAL Baltimore

what doctors want you to believe:

Main Entry: cum·junc·ti·vi·tis
Pronunciation: 'k&m-"j&ng(k)-ti-"vI-t&s
Function: noun
: inflammation of the eye as a result of recent ejaculation therin either purposefully or by accident by ones partner.
A combination of cum and conjunctivitis ('pink eye')
"Damn, Kurt, why is your left eye so red and why does Al have that smirk on his face?"
"It's an acute case of cumjunctivitis, as Al has lousy aim when he shoots. Don't worry, I nailed him in the nads for it."