First off, you don't know me or my girlfriend. Please, oh please *attempt* to backhand her. It would be worth going to jail for what I'd do to you. Say whatever you want about me, be a real man and leave the lady out of it.

That being said, the car still looks busted. If it's for looks, it fails. Why? Because it's cracking itself apart as it goes down the road.



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But I have a solution for everyone here, I'll even do it free of charge. Here it goes:

I, presidential, will come over to your house free of charge and beat your car with a 15 lb. sledge and a 50 lb. 5' tall crowbar. Hopefully this way, I can help you to realize your wildest dreams and help your S-chassis reach the epitome of cool in the eyes of your peers. In addition to the above services, I can also bring over my propane torch to give your rear bumper that "carboned up" look. Unfortunately, there will be a 4 dollar service fee for that modification.

However, if I deem that your vehicle is not low enough to impress your friends, I will be obligated to apply said torch to your springs until an acceptable ride height is achieved. When and only when your vehicle scrapes on things like ants, reflectors and pebbles will I be satisfied enough to return the vehicle to the owner.

Thank you for your time, PM me to schedule an appointment.

All the best,
Anger Management Customs