A five-year-old boy and his grandfather are sitting on the front porch together, when grandpa pulled a beer out of the cooler.

The little boy asked, 'Grandpa, can I have a beer?'

Grandpa replied, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'

The little boy answered, 'No Grandpa, it's just a little pecker!'

Grandpa said, 'Then you're not man enough to have a beer.'

A little later Grandpa lit up a cigar. The little boy asked, 'Grandpa, can I have a taste of your cigar?'

Once again, Grandpa asked, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?

The little boy answered 'no,' again.

Grandpa said, 'Then you're not man enough to have a cigar.'

A little later, the boy came out of the house with some cookies and milk.

Grandpa asked, 'Can I have a cookie?'

The boy a sked, 'Can your pecker touch your ass?'

Grandpa replied, 'Hell yeah, my pecker can touch my ass!'

The boy replied, 'Then go fuck yourself! Grandma made these cookies for me.'