Since I'm not a shit talker, I won't have any chance at getting a free track day. Someone PM some ridiculous outlandish statements so I can get some time at the track.

Here's my first attempt.

Dear Bike Tech, although we have been friends lo these many years, it has now come to my attention that my motorcycle skill levels have pased all like Donna passed Ricksta today at that track over and over.

Sincerely, the greatest motorcycle rider ever, Dr. G. Green Goblinstein Esquire

Maybe I should just keep my day job?