ok, yeah, the reverse grind are usually small and quick, sometimes longer, but rarely happens... although i have never tried the "throw it in second first than reverse" option, I usually end up trying different things, which end up working, such as:
shifting gears (usually first) or
if the car is on an incline, move it a little,
or just punch gas when on neutral, then try putting it in reverse
or just try reverse again but slowly this time, listening to make sure the dreadful noise doesn't start (if it does, stop, wait a sec and try again)... until it works



... think that's about all i've tried...