We have to do what we have to do because the Taliban
cannot stand nudity and
considers it a sin to see a naked woman that is not
one's wife, next
Saturday afternoon at 2:00 p.m. EST, all North
American women are asked to
walk out of their houses completely naked to help weed
out any neighborhood
terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is
recommended for this
anti-terrorist effort. All men should position
themselves in lawn chairs in
front of their homes to prove that they think it's OK
to see women nude.
(Since the enemy does not approve of alcohol, a cold
six-pack at your side
is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.)

Notify the appropriate authorities of any people who
do not participate.
Your efforts to root out terrorists will be greatly
appreciated and indicate
your desire to demonstrate your patriotism.