Old Nov 14, 2005 | 06:23 AM
  #20 (permalink)  
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BigBadBuick
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I have learned many things on TR. I recently learned it was easy to go 9's with a FWD car. I've learned no matter how many excuses you can come up with, someone always has one better. I've learned that you have to have an IQ barely above being smart enough to remember to breathe and pump blood to drive a domestic, but it takes the smartest person in the world to attempt to build a fast FWD car (I thought it was easy??) I've learned that straight line performance doesn't matter (unless your car does good in a straight line) I've learned that turning doesn't matter (unless your car turns well) I've learned that everyone defines the term 'street car' by what they drive every day and if someone has one less option or interior panel than them, their car is a race car. I've learned it is more impressive to make 250 horsepower with a turbo than it is to make 500 with nitrous, in fact, any asshole with a big dick and a wad of cash can do it. I've also learned that 1000+ horsepower from a V-8 mulletmobile is to be expected and no big deal while 400 horsepower from a 4 cylinder or V-6 is a sign of the coming apocalypse. I've learned that even though this is a 'racing' site, you are a better person if you sacrifice performance for economy. I've learned that only stupid abnoxious pieces of shit that should be killed and hung on display in the town square drive SUV's while also learning that superior life forms that will one day rule the world drive fuel efficient Hondas. I've learned that there is no God, and that anyone that has accomplished anything above and beyond the 'norm' is 'lucky.' Then I learned that surviving a crash in which your compact car is crushed between two 18 wheelers should not be credited to God (he doesn't exist, remember?) nor luck (?), but the smart little Japanese engineers that designed such a superiorly safe automobile. I've learned that my car has no business on a road course because it is not a 'race car' but running a basically stock FWD import is OK. I've learned that people that are not interested in making their car faster, only making them look better are 'ricers' and they too should be killed. I've learned that sometimes it is just better to go online and talk and talk and argue and argue about the fast car you've never had than to actually log off and build something. I've learned that owning a Honda/Acura immediately initiates you into a gang, a gang in which you can take credit for any fellow H/A owner's accomplishments, stick up for any fellow H/A owner, and talk shit for any fellow H/A owner as if they were you. I've learned that skylines are the absolute ultimate automobile, to be coveted and worshipped. I've also learned that it is the fault of 'stupid Americans' (a statement made by a fellow 'stupid American' ??) that the skyline was never made legal for the US market. I've learned that a simple fender bender in a skyline is worthy of a 23459 page thread of death threats to the person that caused the wreck while crashing an Enzo is worthy of a 134596 page thread condemning the owner for actually driving the car, and driving it like it was meant to be driven. I've learned that street racing is done while moving from a certain MPH to a certain MPH or crash, whichever comes first and that racing from a dead stop is something toothless rednecks do. I've also learned that the same people that race to 200 mph or a crash don't understand, for the life of them, why street racing penalties are getting harsher. I learned that some people really took that movie seriously and really do live their lives one 20 second quarter mile at a time while I laughed through the whole thing thinking 'no one can really be this stupid.' I've learned that cops only pick on imports, especially for things like loud exhaust, because cops prefer domestics or are just hicks. There's more, and I may edit this from time to time if I think of them, but these are the first things that popped in my head.
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Last edited by BigBadBuick; Nov 14, 2005 at 10:04 AM.
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