senor honda

I didn’t know they sold that!

The modern Advance Auto parts bought out Discount Auto Parts several years ago.
Discount Auto Parts was founded by an Attorney, Dennis Fontaine of Lakeland, and Advance still uses the same warehouses and trucks formerly owned by Discount Auto Parts.

When Advance bought Discount Auto Parts, it was the best move possible, since they essentially bought the locations that automotive parts customers had been going into for years. Once people get used to going into the same building for some time, the customers will continue going there.

It would have been a good move to also retain the experienced knowledgeable workers, but Advance did not do that. Advance had opened and closed stores in Tampa several times before buying out Discount Auto Parts.

Dennis Fontaine was an attorney who lived on Lake Parker and drove a vintage Corvette.
Fontaine was also smart enough to have bought corner lots with buildings/houses that he would deduct
as a business expense since they were "law offices". Fontaine leveraged money in other ways to build
many locations of Discount Auto Parts.

Fontaine and I raced against each other in Hobie Cat sailboats. Fontaine was a dirty tricks specialist.
He would start talking to you to break your concentration. In one race I was closing in on him and was about to pass him. Fontaine pulled up his rudder to horizontal and smacked my boat with it and then started screaming.
I was the overtaking boat and the incident should have been taken before the protest committee, since I did not collide with his boat. I did my penalty circles anyway.

You won the race that day Dennis, but I went to the National Championships and beat 1/2 the people racing there my very first time there. I have experienced the thrill of victory many times and I am still competing.
Dennis, you died rich, but you are still dead. -Senor Honda
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December 5, 2016



Advance Auto Parts opened its doors in 1932 in Roanoke, Virginia, back when driving was still in its early days and you could buy parts for just a quarter. Our stores have changed over the years, but did you know we used to sell quirky items like pickles, chocolate covered cashews, and toys during the Holidays? In the spirit of our upcoming 85th anniversary, we invite you to look through our fine inventory below.
Hello, welcome to Advance. Yes, those are indeed fox tails hanging on a string for sale.

Advance’s Unique Items

Step inside and take a gander. Would a lucky fox tail to hang on your radio aerial interest you? How about a new, state-of-the-art washer and dryer to make laundry a breeze? Does your little one enjoy toys? We carry remote control cars and trucks that “Santa” would be proud to deliver. We also have handcrafted dolls and tea sets for more sophisticated play time.
Toys for all ages. Did your child make the “nice list” this year?

For drivers, we have everything you need to make your road trips more enjoyable. Choose from one of our many highly-regarded brands of cigarettes for a relaxing smoke. Hungry? Try our proprietary chocolate covered cashews—they are delicious! Not a sweets person? No problem. Snack on our tasty beef jerky, perfect for those late-night trips when the service stations are closed.
You will be amazed by how much you will save here, and at all times you are assured of courteous, intelligent service.

Make sure you bring back something for the home as well! How can you pass up on our highly modern kitchen appliances? We stock refrigerators, ice chests, dish washers (a miracle of an invention), gas and electric cook tops, and much more. Stop in any time. Remember, you must be satisfied or your money is cheerfully refunded.